ONE Man Guy

From the archives of school board meetings .

The following is the first of Jen Stuppys public comments to the GH board of EDU over sexually explicit books in GH public school library from January 2019. The book titled “ One Man guy”, now two years later, is still on the shelf at Lakeshore middle school with no parental consent required:

January 18, 2020

“I received an electronic communication containing a seven page list of new LGBTQ books brought in to our districts libraries, elementary through high school. The list contained snippets of information for each book on the list ; some innocent enough and some warning of sexually explicit content.

I called school administration wanting to know if this list was even accurate. They told me it was. I then ordered a book from the list off Amazon titled “One man Guy” that was available at my kids 5th and 6th grade school and flagged on the list I received as being “sexually explicit”. When I spoke to Sarah McElrath, my children’s school librarian, she told me it was appropriate for 6th grade, although its currently at a 5th and 6th grade school.

When I got the book I was stunned by what I read thinking about kids ages 10 and 11 reading this book. The book is about a 14 year old boy, Alec, and his encounter with an older, sexually experienced 17 year old Ethan. Ethan details his own sexual relationship he had with a college student who lived in his home when he was only 15 years old himself. Now, its a few years later and an older, sexually experienced Ethan is pursuing 14 year old Alec.

The book talks about how to steal from stores, which teachers they’d like to “bang”, and the thrill Alec experiences in a clothing store dressing room having an older Ethan looking at his 14 year old naked body, making out with him with people nearby the dressing room. One scene leads the reader to believe an older Ethan will give oral sex or anal sex to 14 year old Alec right as his parents walk in. This sexually explicit content, WHETHER GAY OR STRAIGHT, in my opinion, has no business being in the hands of 5th and 6th graders who are 10-12 year old minors.

In the interest of time allowed here, I’m going to read just a few condensed excerpts from the book and ask you to think about your own 10 and 11 year old children and grandchildren reading this book during school hours and you having no knowledge of it even to have a conversation with them afterwards. The characters being gay or straight is completely irrelevant, just listen to the content:

“During freshman year, we were sitting around and all talking about which teachers we’d most like to bang, I said Mr. Speck, I’d definitely bang Mr. Speck over Mr. Schmidt.”

“He was my first everything, Ethan paused for emphasis. We’d been together for months and we were going at it real strong”- speaking of sex with his live in college boyfriend when he was 15 years old.

“He was hooking up with other guys, it wasn’t really cheating because we weren’t monogamous, that’s pretty normal in the gay world. He told me he wouldn’t let some teenager tie him down when he was in the middle of his sexual prime.”

“Why are you sitting so far away boyfriend, I don’t bite. (older) Ethan kissed him firmly on the lips. Much of what Ethan had taught (14 year old) Alek had been by description, but this was teaching by example and Alek was an eager student. Alek learned when to nibbler and when to breathe. The increase in pressure was so subtle Alec didn’t notice it at first but soon, the motion evolved into something stronger. Alec interrupted one of their kisses with a deep guttural moan, Ethan grabbed again and Alek moaned even louder. You like that do ya boyfriend? Ethan smiled deviously at Alek . “Uh huh” Alek responded. Even a few days ago he might have blushed, but now he didn’t. Ethan unbuttoned Aleks shirt, when his hands got to the bottom of Aleks shirt, they lingered at the top button of his jeans. Alek jerked away from Ethan. “I’m kidding with you dude, we’re not ready for that for another few days” shut up and kiss me, you’re getting good at it.”

All this in our library for 10-12 year old kids.

When my kids were in 5th grade, we were asked to sign a consent form permitting them to watch a sex education video. I was notified and given an opportunity to come review it. I did and I agreed it was age appropriate for my kids. Yet I had no idea, that without my consent, my kids had access to other media that was far more sexually explicit than the film I consented to. I’ve since talked to some parents who tell me the schools have a lot of other sexually explicit content available, both gay and straight.

It is my recommendation that the school create a system of flagging sexually explicit content (allowing parents input). and then devise a method where parents give consent. I think sexually explicit content should be kept behind a counter unless parent consent is given. I was told this book is appropriate for 6th grade and up, I vehemently disagree.

Another parent brought to my attention just this week another book in our schools where a young man describes how much he loved giving oral sex to people in his neighborhood as a six year old child. The content I’ve seen like this so far isn’t dissuading or speaking poorly of these acts, or the illegal nature of them, it seemingly attempts to normalize such things, to normalize the sexualization of young children. My hope is that Grand Haven can do better than this for our kids.

Perhaps schools can send out consent forms to parents at the beginning of the year allowing some parents, if they choose, to give one time full consent and access to all sexually explicit materials with no restrictions. For other parents, not okay with access to sexually explicit content, they can opt, on this same form, their desire for restrictions placed on sexually explicit content until consent is given for our own children, giving the parents time to review materials for our minor children before we consent.